“Vell vell, I waz inspired by zat weird person from Auztralia!” said the villain, slyly, in a vaguely European accent.

Today, The Obiter went deep. Real deep. Several editors snuck into the lair of supervillain Dr Number, who hides in the hidden caldera of a dormant volcano off the coast of Easter Island.

After immobilising the many and incompetent guards, The Obiter thought they’d gotten in until they discovered it was a trap all along, and soon the poor editors were tied up, facing imminent death from lasers and drowning and leaking acid and crushing walls while the vaguely European supervillain spoke in a vaguely European evil monologue.

“You maniac!” cried one editor.

“You want to watch the world burn?” cried another editor, this one with glasses.

“No no no, Mr and Mrs… Obiter. Simply see it come togezza!” said Dr Number, slyly. This sly, sly man.

“With-a my secret army now strategically arranged at all Colez and Wooly Worths, they shall hide sewing needles into every fruit, and soon all ze world leaderz – WHO ALL EAT FRUIT!!! - will be sewn together! Truly, I am putting ze wool over their eyes!” he exclaimed, slyly.

“You maniac!” cried another editor, forgetting the first one had already taken that line.

“And after everyone is sewn togezza…. No one will be!” Dr Number shouted, slyly.

And with that, he slyly hit the lever for all the acid and lasers and sharks to slowly advance on our courageous team.

Well what a pickle we’re in! Will The Obiter 5 escape? Will Dr Number continue his evil plan to take over the world with sewing needles hidden in fruit? Will Avatar 2 and 3 ever come out? Do we even care?

Join us for next week’s episode of The Obiter V: Dangerous Times At Belmont High.