A law student who has spent the last few weeks incessantly asking classmates and lecturers about the legality of incest has been found to not even be studying Crim B this semester.

This student’s name has been redacted for the purposes of this article, but we will refer to him by the initials ‘JH’ for clarity.

JH has spent much of this past month pestering fellow legal minds as to the various jurisdictional approaches to incest in the different Australian states. The vast majority of his peers have assumed he watched an incest trial for his Crim B court report, and simply is seeking assistance in formulating his law reform submission for the assignment.

But with a fateful question today, JH’s cover has been blown, and he has been revealed as, at best, an opportunistic sex criminal.

Our reports indicate that as JH was busy asking one of his tutors whether ‘first cousins are fair game... hypothetically, of course,’ one of his old schoolmates approached and struck up a conversation. In the course of their chat, JH was asked what subjects he was studying this semester (the stock boring conversation question).

He replied simply, ‘Yeah, nah, just doing Admin and Trusts this semester. I’ll do Crim next year, I reckon.’

‘Anyway, first cousins. Where do we stand on that? No, yeah, just hypothetically. How about step-cousins? Step-siblings, even?’

With it now pretty obvious that this genuine creep isn’t even studying Crim B, new Dean Patrick Muhammad Parkinson is unsure how to play this. On one hand, it’ll be good for the Law School to avoid a scandal. But on the other hand, this is genuinely bizarre.

Surely there will be more to come.