Third-year law student Bryan Murray (20) suffered a serious disappointment midway through the first round of the King & Wood Mallesons Senior Moot today, as he realised that mooting is for fucking nerds.
Buoyed by the opportunity to wear a suit for just the third time since his Year 12 Formal, Bryan waltzed into the Moot Court with the kind of arrogance only a private school boy of imminent yuppie status can maintain.
However, when the MJ Bale-clad Senior Counsel stood to deliver his introductions, he noticed his learned friend opposite was a massive dweeb from his Property seminar. And that’s when it dawned on Bryan.
He, too, was that massive a dweeb.
‘Like I literally have just taken on an extra assignment for no fucking reason. I don’t even get any extra credit or some shit,’ said an irate Bryan in a hot, sweaty interview with The Obiter.
‘Only a complete dorkatron would even entertain that idea.’
Despite this harsh state of affairs, Bryan says he will still do his utmost to defend the appellant, Ms Joanna Allan, from the frankly spurious claims of defamation brought by opposing counsel.
And looking to the future, despite the setback of realising he’s an absolutely unequivocal fucking loser, Bryan is looking forward to picking up a new tie from Charles Tyrwhitt and participating in the Duke & D’Arcy McMullen Constitutional Law Moot.
And maybe even some new spectacles from Bailey Nelson!
What a freakin’ four-eyed lame-o.