‘Gentrification sucks!’ has been the rallying cry for many young people afraid of soulless development, and it looks like private school alumnus and Architecture student, Adam Beckett (22), has decided to throw his voice into the fray.
‘Just, like, keep West End weird, y’know?’ he said, to no-one in particular, his smooth legs encased in corduroy trousers (even though it’s literally the hottest Autumn we’ve ever had). Adam’s definition of ‘weird’ likely extends to milk crates and cafes which offer three different varieties of oat milk, but we’ll let that one through.
Fortunately for Adam, but unfortunately for the rest of us, he can be safe making these comments in 2019 Brisbane, because it’s pretty fair to say he would’ve been stabbed to death within minutes upon entering 1998’s pre-gentrification Fortitude Valley.
Before the spectre of the Howard Smith Wharves took over the river, and the TC Beirne precinct brought some fresh respectability to the Brunswick St Mall, the Valley was actually dangerous at one point, with some genuinely unsavoury characters. Now, the most dangerous thing in the Valley is eating a bit too much cashew chicken at King Of Kings, or even worse, being told that the Asian BYO you’re going to doesn’t allow beers!
Adam’s rolled-up T-shirt sleeves and Converse sneakers ensure he cuts a striking figure as he tells The Obiter that ‘megacorporations will be the end of us. We’re just losing the heart and soul of this city,’ conveniently ignoring the fact that he’d be losing his liver and spleen as they bled out into the gutter outside the Jubilee Hotel in 1998.
It’s objectively good for Adam’s safety that he can go to Southbank and not be accosted by gangland members and street prostitution, and it’s a relief for his parents that he can travel to New Farm without falling ass-backwards into the violent, drug-fuelled, low-rent culture which persisted throughout the late 1980s.
But that won’t stop him giving the middle finger to builders as they construct a new set of cookie-cutter units on Boundary St, as if they had anything to do with the decision.
Stay brave, my brother!
No more to Krum.