ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA

Government officials were sent into a frenzy this morning after a set of particularly incendiary documents exploded spontaneously in a Pentagon filing cabinet.

Four government employees were injured in the accident, with two taken to hospital after sustaining moderate to severe paper cuts.

Sources in D.C. believe the powerful documents concerned Rudy Giuliani’s alleged trafficking of delicious Cuban ham for his personal consumption, in contravention of the Cuban trade embargo. While the Pentagon has dealt with similarly white-hot documents, officials say the explosion was unexpected.

“Generally, it is unusual for paper to explode without warning” claimed Secretary of Defense Mark Esper at press time.

“However, the California Earthquake Authority reported that the Earth was literally shaken by the controversy of the Panama Papers scandal, so this sort of incident isn’t completely without precedent.”

“Also, a giant portal to hell opened up out of the ground when the 2016 Paramatta Eels salary cap books were exposed.”

Doctors on the scene told The Obiter that while the employees involved are expected to make a full recovery, the wall will never be the same.

Vale.