A small square of paper sticky taped over a laptop camera is a sure sign that the owner gets up to some pretty weird shit in the confines of their home.

A study conducted by The Obiter has concluded a positive correlation between a student’s ‘concerns for privacy’ and the level of genuine depravity in their masturbation habits.

‘My main concern is that the government is able to pinpoint my location through the camera,’ lied Jimmy (19), who is partial to Japanese tentacle porn.

The Obiter can also reveal that the more innocuous a persons alleged reasoning for covering their laptop camera, the more taboo their sexual preferences.

‘I’m worried that the Russians can hack my computer and watch me sleep,’ fibbed Dave (21), who is a member of the Dead Hand Gang.

The results of one of the of over 40 000 anonymous participants showed that those who described their sexual preferences as vanilla-mild were less concerned that the Government could be watching them choke the chicken.

While those who admitted to being more adventurous showed far greater concern that their best Michael Hutchence impersonations would be caught on film.

‘We are entering a brave new world where political smear campaigns will have a far more literal and disturbing meaning,’ commented one senior demographer. ‘But as Syndrome said, when everyone is super, no one is. We’ve got footage of everyone regardless of your futile attempts to cover the camera so don’t worry, it’ll only be an issue if you hold public office in the future.’

No more to cum (bazinga).