“I remember when Law Dinner was fully fucked,” said Damo Watson, a third-year student who intends to vote for Candidate Geary this Thursday.

Despite the claim, Damo drank like an absolute Tiddalick on Saturday night and ended up being wrestled into an Uber bound for the RBWH.

“I just wish we could go back to the days when people got a bit crazy at these events,” said objectively the most abusive patient to pass through the ER in months.

“I mean, people used to heckle the speaker, not just sit and listen,” continued Damo, who at one point in the evening stood on his chair during The Hon Justice Margaret Joan Beazley AO’s remarks and yelled “OI ERIN BROCKOVICH, WELCOME TO THE CHUNDERDOME!” before vomiting into his friend’s vegetarian option meal, a move that she said actually improved the taste.

“I guess the UQLS isn’t the same anymore! I’m pumped El Fergidente next year, I’ll tell you that for free!”

At press time, Damo was asking hospital staff if there was any video footage of his stomach pumping that he could post on his story.

More to come.