“I probably don’t need to see my psychologist anymore.”

After paying $11.75 for a medium iced caramel latte on oat milk, Sue Flay (24), suddenly felt a new zest for life after consuming her “treat for the week.”

Overwhelmed with her demanding 9-5 job, meeting last week’s rent and the overall uncertainty of our global political climate, Flay’s worries have seemingly vanished after taking a single sip of her iced beverage.

This comes after a particularly hard week for Flay, whose Euro summer dreams were shattered after taking a peek at her HECS debt of $39,496. The drink, however, has somehow deluded her into thinking she can afford spending $6000 for a trip to Italy.

“This latte has really reignited something in me,” says Flay after tossing her (supposedly) biodegradable plastic cup in the recycling bin. “I actually think life is really beautiful!”

When asked about the exorbitant price of her latte, Flay simply brushed it off.

“You just have to look at it in a girl maths lens. It’s basically an investment in my productivity and happiness.”

This appears to contradict the scientific evidence which shows that caffeine – a stimulant like the drug methamphetamine – can lead to increased levels of anxiety, nervousness and sleeplessness.

For now, though, Flay seems to revel in her newfound optimism.