‘Love this for you.’ ‘Happy birthday to this one.’ ‘This one xoxo.’ Is it possible that your friends have actually forgotten your name, and are trying to not make it obvious?
The Obiter have become deeply concerned over the past few weeks, with our crack Socials team constantly monitoring Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn feeds to keep track of this deeply disturbing trend.
Do your friends actually know your name?
It may seem like a silly question. But it’s one worth asking. It’s such an absurd, comical idea, that you’d never put your mind to it. You’d never give it a second thought. But if you truly rack your mind, searching the deepest recesses of your brain, one question seems to pop up time and time again: why do your friends exclusively call you ‘this one’? Is it a friendly, cute term of endearment? Or are they covering for the simple, if disturbing fact, that they have outright forgotten your name?
After all, if they were fully aware of your name, you’d suspect they’d use it more. They’d say things like ‘I love this for you, Travis,’ or post such heartwarming statuses as ‘Happy birthday to this one, Sarah. Her name is Sarah, and I know that because I am her friend.’
But in the absence of such blunt statements, doubts grow. And given our reputation as Brisbane’s premier home of incisive investigative journalism, we decided to ask a couple of your friends for their thoughts on the matter.
The main response was ‘who?’ and, upon repeating your name, most of your friend’s simply muttered ‘oh yeah, this one. That one. Love her. Love him. Love that for him.’ Deeply suspicious.
And even more suspicious is the fact they all ran away immediately after our intense questioning, despite our very kind offer to buy them a hot chocolate and chat about their grades and which lecturers are the funniest (hint: it’s Russell Hinchy. He tells you to highlight things!).
Stranger things have been seen certainly, but this is an important moment to reflect on how strange this particular thing has become.
No more to come.